Money & Freedom

January 18
I did an impulse buy of a bottle of melatonin sleeping tablets yesterday at Costco, hoping it would help me sleep through the night. No such luck. I did go to sleep quickly, but got up at about one to go to the bathroom and here I am at three in the morning talking to my computer instead of the back of my eyelids. Shit.

I woke up thinking about money. Figures. I’ve been spending it lately like I’ve got way more of it than I do and that has got to stop. I think that is what the dream was reminding me of. The more I spend, the less freedom I have and the less time we can stay on the road and the sooner one of us will have to go back to full time work. I am getting so lazy. I really don’t want to work anymore. Not for someone else. No thanks. But I might end up there pretty soon if I don’t get my shit together quickly.

It is amazing how fast a bank account can be drawn down. The bank tellers always ask me if I want a balance printed on my receipt when I withdraw cash. I always tell them no. I know about how much is in there and I sure as hell don’t want to see the small amount in black and white in front of my eyes. Hell No.

The lump sum idea was floating in my mind when I woke up. As in, say I had 15,000 in the bank. If I allocated $1,000 a month to live on, we could stay on the road about 12 months, leaving three grand for emergencies. I like knowing about how long I can sustain this lifestyle. It is a pretty darn good one for us. So then, the question becomes, how much do we really need to live on per month? That has to include campground rent and gas. But our largest expenditure by far is food.

I am always so curious to know what other folks do for food, especially if they have food sensitivities in the family, as we do. I want to know what they eat and how much they spend, thinking perhaps I can learn some tips to do things better for my family. But that is not always the most polite question to ask.

Why is it that people will discuss sex more comfortably than money? I think as a society we are pretty darn repressed when it comes to all things sexual, which is funny considering we need sex to survive as a species. But money is even more secret. How much we earn, how much we spend, how much debt we are in. There is a lot of shame and tangled layers of trouble associated with sex, but quite a bit with money as well.

Folks would much rather discuss the last time they got laid rather than how much they earn or how much they owe. What’s with that?

I think my cycle of spending is pretty much done for now. I will keep buying better coffee, and I do love my new bed linens. I can’t wait to crawl into them at the end of the day or snuggle underneath my beautiful quilt for a nap in the afternoon. So that money was well spent.

But I need to have limits on my spending, otherwise I can quickly get out of control and I will spend my way luxuriously into debt and pay that debt with my freedom. Been there and done that. No coffee or pizza or even linen is worth that. Thanks for the reminder.

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