Forgetting to Create

lisa hale art 6755I haven’t done squat creatively for weeks. And the last couple of weeks I have felt really off. Of course, we had a few things going on:

  • Move from Cheyenne, Wyoming to St. Vrain State Park, Colorado.
  • Phil flew to Michigan to take care of some things and bring back the van.
  • The day after he drove 1,200 miles back to Colorado, we hit the road to drive 892 miles down to Cottonwood, Arizona, boondocking most of the way.
  • Argue by text with a friend – over nothing.
  • Endure a two-day headache.
  • Worry about finances.
  • Move the RV to Mesa, Arizona.
  • Thanksgiving with friends.

lisa hale art 6751
In short, I’ve been a mental mess. I’m a bit confused about whether I should be spending my time painting, travel blogging or working on the number of fiction and nonfiction books I have started. I want to do it all, but I can’t all at the same time. So I have been paralyzed, trying to figure out the “right” course of action. One of the big problems with this is that there is no one right answer.
lisa hale art 6754
What brings me the most joy right now is when I sit down with music in my ears and paint. However, I have a stash of paintings I have already completed and so I am running out of room for storage. I need to get them listed on Etsy, which takes a lot of time.

I am also still fighting my fear of allowing others to see my art. A little issue I really need to get over. Fast.

After having a long chat this morning with my baby brother, who basically told me to quit whining and start blogging about my weird, fabulous nomadic life and to sit down and paint my frustrations, I am following his advice.

The first thing I did was clear off my desk, which acts as temporary storage, just like an exercise bike. Got my water, donned my painting apron, plugged in my earbuds to Pandora, sat down and hit play. Madonna was first up (yes, I still like Madonna. Pink too. lol). I picked up a paintbrush and found myself starting to move in my seat. Dancing in my seat. Again. The tears started flowing as I realized that I needed to be here in this chair, right now.

I put down the brush and picked up the pen to write what I was feeling on my mixed media paper. Then I simply painted over it. Tears can bring such a release of emotion. I had held them back for so long and allowing them to flow, in a private, joyful manner felt magical. How could I forget in such a short time that I need to create for my sanity.

What I create is beside the point. I’ve been so focused on whether my art was any good and whether anyone would like it that I had forgotten that it is the act of creation that is primary. Not the end product. In my old logical “responsible” life, the end product was ALWAYS the point. So I forgot. I need to change my life and my thoughts so that the acts that bring me joy stay front and center on the to-do list. Why is that so darn hard?

lisa hale art 6750

4 Comments:

  1. “the act of creation”…love your post! 🙂

  2. Hell Yes. Please share your art with the world. There will always be people who don’t like it, and there will always be those who love it. And sharing your lifestyle and experiences is definitely a great idea since it seems that you are really doing ‘you’. <3

  3. You are doing what many aren’t brave enough to, good for you for doing what inspires you, what’s next is to be determined.

  4. When I paint is like therapy for me. So why not paint when you’re feeling down? Staying creative and active doing the things we love so much is definitely beneficial for our well-being. So never stop creating!

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