A Puking Lesson

January 12

Wow, I am doing my morning pages two mornings in a row. What is wrong with me?

It is 6 am. I woke up again at 5 and laid in bed a while. My thought was to do some visualization on my neck area. I was really sick yesterday from intense neck pain that morphed into a migraine. It was bad enough that I took half a dose of hydrocordone, which didn’t touch the pain. An hour later I took another half dose. My body did not take well to the second dose.

I used to have this happen almost every day. Sometimes, the hydrocordone would work, other times it made me so sick I vomited, so I don’t take it unless the pain is quite severe. I haven’t had a bad day like yesterday for quite a while.

Although I would try to hide being sick, since we live in an rv, my family could hear me in the bathroom, even though I would turn the bathroom vent on to help muffle the puking sounds.

My little one would get really upset and worried about me. To this day, I can’t even burp without her asking if I am okay. Poor thing. Only 9 and I’ve already scarred her. Now I try hard to get her out of the house so she doesn’t find out when I am sick.

Why we chose yesterday morning to hang our new, bright yellow, blackout drapes in our bedroom, I have no idea. The drapes were purported to block out 99% of the light. This may be so, but it lets in ALL the yellow light. Makes the room look like a fucking flower petal with that damn glow as the sun shines through the drapes.

It was so bright in there, that my normal sleep mask that I only wear when I have a headache wasn’t enough to block out the light, so I had to put a washcloth on top of the mask to try to block out that hideous yellow glare.

I can tell when I am going to be sick – my mouth starts watering first, even before the nausea sets in. I learned these symptoms when I was pregnant with Ella. I was sick over 200 times in the first trimester.

Yeah, I started counting after a while, just for the fun of it. The worst time was after I ate hot wings. Nasty, that one. But overall, I learned to relax and just let things come up. When you resist, it makes it worse. Tossing my cookies just isn’t that big a deal for me anymore. But it still is for the rest of the family.

So, yesterday afternoon, as I was lying in bed, bathed in that obnoxious light, I texted Phil to take Ella out, once I knew I was going to be sick. Jacob saw the text, so he knew and skedaddled with them, up to the lodge. When Maddie saw me carrying the small wastebasket into the bathroom, she headed out the door as well. Yup, this girl can clear a camper.

Having privacy when you are sick is always nice. For me, one key to mitigating this unpleasant experience is to do it in the bathroom, in case whatever has upset your stomach has reached the lower part of your digestive system. The second is using a small wastebasket, lined with a fresh garbage bag.

That way you can stand up or sit on the john, bringing the wastebasket with its nice clean bag up to you, instead of hanging out on your knees worshiping the porcelain god. I mean, really, the last thing you want to do when sick is to kneel down, putting your hands flat on the floor where men and boys drip and put your face where you shit. Talk about nasty.

When you are finished, simply tie up the bag and toss it in the trash. Easily done and a lot less mess than having puke spattered all over your toilet bowl, floor and God knows where else. Shudder.

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